January 2010
55 posts
Finally told you that I don’t think we should talk anymore. You asked me why. I had said that I just wished to forget about you. You live forever from here anyway. You left me here without a second thought. You said you didn’t want to stop talking, said you didn’t want to lose me. Well, boy, you already lost me.
I looked back on us today. I don’t know why I missed you or why I wanted you back. At the beginning we were kids rushing into things we had no idea what about but instead of trusting you more, I trusted you less. I spent hours and days of our relationship worrying about who you might leave me for because there was always someone better. I spent what seemed like forever trying to be the...
It was like she was only there when it was convenient for him. Like she was the gas station no one ever visited unless their tank was coming up on empty. Yeah, there were days when she hated him and there were days when she was head over heels too. But none of those days mattered, because she could never have him no matter how hard she fell.
What happened to us? I see you now, and I simply suppress that painful lurch in my stomach, plaster a smile on my face, and look the other way. I miss your calls at 11 at night. I miss being with you in the car. I miss lying with you on the grass, competing with you on the swings… I miss every single thing about you, every thing about us. Mostly, I miss the days when you wanted me too.
There’ll always be that first true love. The one you first spent the night crying for. The one that never really worked out but you kept yours hopes up too much, and the one who got away. The one who taught you all you need to know about love. And the one that until now, is still the one you look back to whenever you try to love again.
It’s the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all at the same time. And it’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. Its crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on, but you’re stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want. When you have...
i don’t know how much longer i endure this pain. missing you is becoming completely unbearable. i go to sleep to escape from the heartache only to dream about you. and do you know what makes it worse? my dreams are so perfect. you are right there by my side. we laugh we joke. we hug & everything feels so right. but at the end of every dream, i know i have to wake up to a life without you...
You can try and hold me back. Build your damn walls, pack sandbags along the edges and yell at the clouds and the rain and the sky to stop. But I will not relent. I will reach you. Because I am the sea. And I will continue to love you no matter what.
It’s not your fault, and you’ve been good to me. Just lately I’ve been feeling like I don’t belong, like the ground is not mine to walk upon.
For beautiful eyes; look for the good in others. For beautiful lips; speak only words of kindness. And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
Now I don’t like using words like forever, but I will love you until the end of today. And in the morning, when I remember everything that you are, I know I’ll fall for you over again.
You know that place between sleep and awake - the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.
I am flawed but I am cleaning up so well.
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself.
For the first time, I’ve found someone I hate leaving. I’ve found someone that I can’t get enough of. I’ve found someone that accepts me for who I am & doesn’t tell me I need to change. I’ve found someone who I can fall madly in love with.
You can’t love anyone that way more than once in a lifetime. It’s too hard and it hurts too much when it ends. The first boy is always the hardest to get over. It’s just the way the world works.
I love when Cassy is over :)
A preview comes on the TV for a movie :)
“Cassy wants to see that!”-Hannah
*sex scene*
“Cassy! Why do you wanna see that?!”-Hannah
toughen up baby girl, it only gets harder from here.
I love looking through old pictures of my best...
“She wants a better body and some super model moves.
cause in her head...”
– *Move Stars and Super Models
—The Rocket Summer
“Back to where we left off, baby.
“How you been and what’s been new with you...”
– *Where Were You
—Every Avenue
“Lost in a moment
When it’s only me and you
There is no other place...”
– *Happy The Hard Way
—Every Avenue
I really need more pictures of Jared..
It’s like, loving you is the only thing my heart is capable of.
Other people reach out as you pull farther away;;
But my heart just moves closer to you.
No matter how many times you hurt me.
No matter how many other guys that are truly better for me come along.
My heart knows only you;;
My heart wants only you.
And without you my heart would die.
What would you attempt to do if you knew you...
“There’s a ring around my finger;;
But will you change your mind?
And you...”
– **Heartbreaker
-Pink
you know how after you take a shower, the mirror is foggy? and then you write, “i love him.” then a few moments later it’s gone forever… or so you think. but it’s not until the next time you take a hot shower it will appear again in the exact same spot. it’s like it’s engraved in the mirror or something. well, that’s how you are in my heart. i...
no one believes that i’ve found my soulmate but when you wake up screaming his name with tears rolling down your cheeks and a thudding in your heart you’ll know.
“Why do you where so much make-up??”
-Jared
“I like it. And I think it looks nice.”
-Me
“Well I don’t… You’d look pretty without it.”
-Jared
“Sam.. I look like I’ve been with a prostitute.”
-Jared
“Shut your mouth.”
-Me
I want to study the geography of your body. I want to start a revolution with you. I want to write secret notes on your back as you sleep next to me. But what I really want is to tell you that regardless of everything, I love you. Even if you never love me back.. I love you. I hope that when you’re laying in bed after a night spent in some distant state or country, watching terrible TV, that you...
“a smart girl leaves,
before she is left.”
– Marilyn Monroe <33
I want to know what color of paint is on your bedroom walls. I want to know whether you cross your legs when you watch your favorite show. I want to know what your fingers would feel like in mine. I want to know what your hair looks like when you wake up in the morning. I want to know what books made you cry. I want to know your favorite architect. I want to know how hard you can hug. But most of...
I like when we sit next to each other and your leg fits perfectly against mine. I like when our feet bump and we don’t apologize. I like this comfort. I like this closeness. I like you.
You had me. For the millionth time. You had me. I know I said I would never come back. I said I’d never do this again. But here I am again, laying on your bed. And I can’t remember a thing I’ve ever said.
Cause I’m not easy to understand, but you know me like the back of your hand. I’m you girl and you’re my man and we’re makin’ plans.
You told me it’d be okay. But you were the one crying. You told me to let go. But you were the one holding onto my shirt.
He grabs my wrists, as my fingers turn into angry fists, and I whispered, “Why can’t you love me? I’ll change for you, I’ll play the part.”And I say, “Baby, so I feel stupid to call you, but I’m lonely and I don’t think you meant it when you said you couldn’t love me. And I thought maybe if I kiss the way you do you’d feel it too.”He said, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I am sorry.”
And you brighten up the world with your eyes, And you’re so damn lovely when you’re on my mind, ‘Cause you’re the only one.
You say that the way I feel, it’s all just chemicals in my brain. It’s all just strange air in my atmosphere. It’s all just new colours in my rivers. But you are my industry. You are my factory. You are my smoke stacks. You are my production line. You are my cheap sneakers. You are my fast food. And I’m a planet you once called home. That’s nearly out of air.
it gets dark at 4 o’clock now the windshield is filled with night and cold the motor running for the heater’s sake we finally forgive ourselves and touch each other between the legs at last i can feel the element of welcome.
Jared;;
I held him close to me with my eyes closed, wondering if anything in my life had ever been this perfect, and knowing at the same time that it hadn’t. I was in love, and the feeling was even more wonderful than I ever imagined it could be.
And I hate the fact that my heart doesn’t grow and I hate the smell of cigarette smoke. And I hate old movies unless they make me cry and I hate the jerk that you’ve turned out to be. And I hate the sand that holds back the seas and I hate the fact that you don’t love me for me.
I laughed and said, “Life’s easy.” What I meant was, “Life’s easy with you here, when you leave, it’s hard again.”
Because I don’t know if I can let you go, you are my sunshine and I hate the rain.
There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love a bout other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone...
If you’re going to love me, love me deeply. if you’re going to break my heart, then break it all. if you’re going to care, care for me completely. if you decide not to hold me, don’t let me fall. if you’re going to stay, then stay forever and if you want to leave, then do it today. if you’re going to change, change for the better. and if you’re going to...
Greg's angry words sometimes make sense;;
“i think the best time to say that you already found the right one is when you stop looking for somebody else.”
Granted, it would’ve had a much bigger effect if he wasn’t yelling in my ear after I told him I thought Jared could be “The One” and that he’d just have to grow up a little more first..
Why do I feel guilty for turning Greg down?
-He’s...
“I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing.
Just prayed to a God that I...”
– Breakeven-The Script (via nothingbutadreamer)
oh yeah, sammi told me to do this
carmenlovelyy:
here’s a post just for you.
ur welcome :]
but sorry that i dont get on as much. tumblr is annoying at times. actually a lot of times. and not just b/c of the error messages. i mean, i dont really care about drama or anything really. so i kinda wanna delete my tumblr. haha
NOO!
You cannot delete your tumblr :(
Because I don't know where I'd be in my life...
Amy, Christie, and Louis :)
Amyyyyy :)
Hannah, Me, and Christie :)
Christie and Her MAN :)
Me, Brittany, Christie, and Hannah :)
Amy, Christie, and Babo :)
Amy And Christie :)